STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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