I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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