The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he was CRYING into my vagina
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
