girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
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I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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