North Korea, Best Korea!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
