Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex? http://tfl.nu/05zs
  Replies (27) Good night (6178) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years. http://tfl.nu/vthp
  Replies (47) Good night (716) Bad night (8031)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb
  Replies (80) Good night (31569) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was http://tfl.nu/p0yn
  Replies (13) Good night (7358) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you. http://tfl.nu/8i7d
  Replies (11) Good night (1202) Bad night (3891)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up. http://tfl.nu/edto
  Replies (6) Good night (2375) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?! http://tfl.nu/bwn3
  Replies (4) Good night (2935) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon. http://tfl.nu/dsce
  Replies (9) Good night (1162) Bad night (2337)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo. http://tfl.nu/dqo9
  Replies (20) Good night (3524) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis. http://tfl.nu/tjtk
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (1915)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym http://tfl.nu/lv47
  Replies (2) Good night (1073) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party http://tfl.nu/1oc7
  Replies (3) Good night (879) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with. http://tfl.nu/2qkg
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram? http://tfl.nu/uqso
  Replies (6) Good night (767) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Fuck yeah GAYNESS

  (415): View more from California

  *explodes into glitter*

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Fuck yeah GAYNESS (415): *explodes into glitter* http://tfl.nu/o7gi
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (304)

Randomize