You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"