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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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• (650): View more from California

  Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse

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• (537): View more from

  Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out

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• (518): View more from New York

  Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.

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