i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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