I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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