hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
