he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
