what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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