They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
