That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
