But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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