Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
