I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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