Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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