No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
