Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
