Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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