Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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