If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
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DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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