her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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