I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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