There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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