The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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