some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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