...so i touched it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
