I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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