I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
