I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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