Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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