New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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