Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
