My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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