things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
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Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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