Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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