paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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