my vag is so smooth its legendary
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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