Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize