U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
