I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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