Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
