what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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