we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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