There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
