It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
