were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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