I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
