her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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