i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
