I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
