yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
