3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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