My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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