I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
