STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
